[oh gawd oh gawd oh gawd..] [Tuesday, August 13, 2002] [7:18 pm]

music [Phi - Knife of Romance] =@0@= AAAAUGH!! I'm getting me teeth out first thing tomorrow!! =o_o= And I guess if my dad is telling me not to eat after twelve that they are indeed going to have me sleep through the process...=@_@;; although I wonder what it'd be like if I was awake the whole time? =B;; eeheee, I swear, there had better be only the maximum of two people there operating on me. XD;; dun want like...5 people sticking sharp objects down my throat at once or whatever. *ROLLROLLROLL* AGHDSFDSD!!! I DUN LIKE SURGURY!! =o___o= I haven't had one since I was like...in pre-school so I dun actually know...but still =;;__;;=... XB;; geee, I'm sure it's not nearly as bad as...=__=;; aha, but people keep wincing or giving me "poor you" looks when I tell them. XD;;;;; NOOOOOOO!!! *runs about screaming*.... nghfds =@_<;; just a bump in the road of life, so long as life altering things don't happen. comments

[>O ahahaha, I retuuuurn] [Monday, August 12, 2002] [5:24 pm]

music [none] Nyaaaaagh! I'm back and no one is around =o_o= this is not cool, oh no-ness. =B yus, the trip was fun. =o_o;; although I stayed up watching Lord of the Rings the night before I left and so I was...very half dead. XD weeeee, the movie was great! =o_o;; but it distracted me from my usual urge to slash everyone together, bol, XD great big achievement! ahaha. XD the hotel had a tv! and it had cartoon network!! =@_@;; and I DIE because I really want that channel, although they still edit the heck out of a lot of stuff in each anime for adult swim. =O0O= DEL!!! GYAAAAAH DEL JEBUS!! *rollrollroll* =;;___;;= aahaaaaa, your art is so luuumlyyyy. XDDDD aaaah Beast of Blood be gorgeoumus!! *rollrollroll* =*0*= so much the sexiness. ...=@_@;;; yeee, this reminds me that I drew no pics on the trip (how sad) and so I have nothing to show. =o_o= my production rate, it seems, if verily far behind del and kitteh, much improvement is needed. XD;; so yes, that means I dun have pics now, but I promise I will later this time =o_o= yes. update [12:47 pm] =3 I was bored and started to mess with a story idea in my head (like usual). =o_o= and just took some charas out of an old rp and remade them sorta, XD;; these lil stories always suck and dun last long, =o_o= but at least they gimme something to work with. yah, =P so then, here be pirates... er... sorta...not really? XD;; yah, just wanted to try my hand and drawing someone reeeally emotional like =P. His name was Acanth, but I feel like it needs changing. Claudius =P bol, it was a last second name but I suppose it could stay. XB;; this is the captain of the pirate ship (=o_o= is it a ship ship, or an air ship? I dunno). =B;; he's a really friendly guy. Acanth XD;; *rollroll* ship's first mate, yes =o_o=. hee hee, emotional attachments to the captain, and yah, he's young. XD;; not that Claudius isn't, eh, mur.. not the whole crew is like this XD;; comments

[random boredness] [Friday, August 9, 2002] [9:40 pm]

music [Okui Masami - Naritai] XD GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! =o_o= kitteh color muh diallo pic, it makes me nuts XDDD ooourhgds, it looks so much better than my coloring job, gaaaaaah *hugs it* =o_o=. X3 murgdshdf was looking through her collabs gallery tuudaaaay =@_@= and GAWD I MISS DRAWING WITH PEOPLE GAWD DERN IT!!! =@__@;; ahaha, feel so isolated over here, with my not-being-able-to-draw-with-people-ness. It sucks immensely, ou yes =__=;; bol, I dun think daddeh wants to fix it either, he's all "try something different!" =9_9=. XD bol, and yes, he's all forgiven and stuff, =o_o= wow, lookit how long my grudges last. XDD bol, couple days at most. =3 lum my daddy, hate the way he communicates. =o__o= I haven't drawn in the same canvas as someone for over a year XD;; and I noticed at the time that I was I had improved a lot faster than I usually do =>_>;; I...miss it so... XD;;; oh jeez, I can't believe those back to school sales are starting again, school is evil. They need to stop reminding me that I'm gonna have to go back soon. =o_o= not that it's really too difficult or anything, just frustrating, boring, XD;; almost zero contact with friends, since I have so few besides real close friends XD;;; eh. =o_o= and it likes to eat my time for drawing and doing fun net stuff. XD;; I dun do enough of those as it is, yar yar, =o_o;;. =^__^= muuur, it's Friiiiday. =o_o= aha, that usually would be really good, but I need to go outdoors tomorrow XD;; early-like... =@_@;; I'm really bad with this outdoors thing, XD;; plus there's swimming and sand and dust and etc, and as kitteh likes to say Fred is visiting =o_o;;. Not too lovely of a combo. XD;; and my mom is an artist, so I'm gonna feel really odd when I start drawing and she's looking over my shoulder =@_@;; cause she's like...100 times better than me... and she likes to look at my stuff and be like...XD;; gahaha I dunno, just gonna feel odd. =D AAAAAAAAAAAH, and del did blog layout updaaaate!! *rollroll* gawd, so luvlie XD and infectious, XD;; resisting, I mean I've only had this layout for...I dunno, but not that long so XD;;; =o_o;; Besides, I bet this thing is going to be hell to update..XD;; oh yes, I see all those font tags I'm gonna have to fix XD;;; eeeew.... =o__o= bol, Del, that Kentaro/Pandora pic is scary! XD it's just...whoa, so odd. X3 bol, I makes me feel like Kentaro and Rellik are related. it's just odd XDD. nm, =3 but the pic is lovelie, like all them X3 wuuness. =o_o;; I understand some of that german...that is also freaky. X3 bol, all this rant and people are waiting for pictures no? =B;; bol, later, there shall be an update. comments

[yah =P] [Thursday, August 8, 2002] [10:10 pm]

music [noooone] XD;; gyah, tomorrow I am working until 7pm and then my friend is probably coming over and staying for the night because the next morning my mom is coming and taking me and my brother and our friends to the Indiana dunes for a weekend =@_@;; so basically I dun think we are getting back til Sunday sometime XD;; =o_o;; lol, so you people will probably not see me until then... XD;; gahaha, West Nile Fever whatever disease has made it to Illinois and there is a giant misquito flying around behind my comp, how comferting =o_o;; lineless =B;; lol, started out as a serious attempt in painter and then...yah, I got tired. X3;; lol I only like the nose and mouth. snake man =o__o= inspired by kitteh. =B bol, his pose is all funny-like, I dunno why he's gestureing behind himself. X3;; bwar. comments

[=3 eeeeeu icooons] [Wednesday, August 7, 2002] [11:26 pm]

music [FFX - Otherworld] XD yus, the music from when you first see Tidus in Zanarkand, FMV of blitzball game. wooo. =B I am cheating and putting a new entry thing for the same date because...well the last one practically counted as last night...XD;; and I guess it gets confusing if I just...=o_o= blah, from now on, new entry every time I update!.... yes, I think so.... =P well unless it's only a couple hours appart or whatever.... =3 eeenyway, I made icons for my LJ. Posting them here cause I'm not online at the time. =o_o= lol, I hope you dun mind, del, that I often use ideas that come from yuu XB you're very inspiring! *roll* =@_@= right, the icons. =B;; hee, I dun look like girl with short hair. X3 and no, all that bright yellow/green stuff isn't my real hair, it be a luffly lil wig I have =3. XDD lol, need to find chara with that hair color and style to cosplay! =^__^= whee *mess with more photos* I'll eventually make some of me with my real hair. 'nother photo. This was just one I didn't make into an icon thing =3. =3 bwahaha, okee, got my other icons. XD;; ahahahaha, omg, I curved and edited the fook out of these photos! *rollroll* XD;; lol, I look so pretty now. full size pic of first long-hair icon. =3 clicky clicky comments

[=3 wheeee] [Wednesday, August 7, 2002] [12:55 am]

music [The Kix.S - Everybody! Shake It Buddy!] X3 eeee, this song is so happy *roll* like happy songs. =o_o= someone help me find more jappy music mp3s! I'm incompetant, and also internet-time-challenged. XD;; =3 new entry because technically after 12:00 midnight it is the next day. =o_o= and I drew some more pics! wow... XD;; it's cause I've got nothing else to do. XD;;;; aughsdfdsgds, someone take the lines from me and color this properly! =@_@= my brother says his face is bleeding.... =P lol, I was trying to go for that red lighting stuff again. XD;; didn't quite...well I just...=o_o= okay, I dunno whether I like it or not. X3 but pic for del, cause it be her chara after all. houhou, I felt like drawing him cause I got him when I first took del's chara test =3. ...aslo..Kaht with painter...XD;; which I didn't finish cause I dried it before putting on his marks and finishing his hair and stuff. =P just messing around. =9_<= the lines look okay but I actually dun have too much control over them, XD;; kept using and eraser to cheat. comments

[=@____@= raur, head busted...] [Tuesday, August 6, 2002] [4:24 am]

music [silence...] XD;;; me and my brother just stayed up almost the whole night getting his oekaki organised... ungdesfds...what's wrong with me? =o_o= go visit bro's site DOP. and add a cgi-bin/ at the end to find oekaki. =3 tis not linked yet but...do a lil smiley for him! heeeee =@__@=. okay, update later, need sleep, gotta work when I wake =@_@= *dies in front of comp* update [5:00 pm] hoohee, I did a few really fast crappy doodle style things in ms paint yesterday night. XD;; Del rub off on mcat, =o_o= lol, ms paint is really kinda fun to just use to mess around, whee. XD;; *even using date in file names*...yee =3. =o__o= oh, and thank del for sending lumness this way, I be needing some =@_@;; XD aha, khat's owner or whatever the word for it will be. =3 and I drew another funky doodley messy dragon. XD;; can't figure out what they need on thier heads besides eyes mouth and nose XB;; comments

[=9_9= letter to pop....dun read it?] [Monday, August 05, 2002] [6:43 pm]

music [the air conditioner is really loud...] No connection for a while I think =_=;; not till this is sorted out or I'm forgiven or whatever. ... I wrote a letter to my dad =_=;; easier than trying to talk out loud. Here it is for everyone to see =9_9;;.. "The reason I bought all the DVDs at once time is because it makes more sense. I was going to buy them all anyway so now there's no need to make a lot of trips. Besides those DVDs there isn't anything else I wanted to spend the rest of the money on. The rest was goignt to be saved for some other time. The reason I said ti wasn't fair that you got angry at me was because you keep comparing everything I do to what mommy did, and you act like mommy is one big mistake. It also wasn't fair because besides anime DVDs or tapes I don't think I personally choose to use a lot of money. And even then I don't get that many of them (anime), only maybe once every month or couple of months, and that's usually comic books, which are 5 or 4 dollars. It looks like a lot because I liked anime and manga since I was 10 or 11. I don't usually ask for cloths or to go to movies and things like that because I don't like them that much. So I just felt like you weren't being fair, and that you are too afraid that I'll end up like mommeny. I didn't buy the DVDs to make you unhappy, I was doing it cause it made more sense to me. I know you said you were hurt and angry but I was too. And maybe I did the wrong thing, or did it the wrong way, and I'm sorry about that, but I don't feel like I'm just wasting money. Because usually I just use my money on what I need, so I wanted to have one thing that I don't need to hold back on as much. It's not like the moment I get money I'll always spend it on only anime without thinking first. I've thought about it for at least a couple months. That was one of the reasons I took a summer job, just Cowboy Bebop was all I needed at the time. The rest was going to be saved and is going to be saved most likely. That's all I can think of for now." yep...so there ya go. =___=;; and I'm crying again, this sucks, nothing else makes me cry. ...=___=;; at least I'm silent about it, dun think I'd like hearing myself cry. *goes off to collect self and maybe find something to post* update [8:17 pm] =>__<= ARG, WELL THAT WORKED WONDERFULLY!!! ....=>_>= I head hurts again..and eyes. ..He's blaming me for my mom's mistakes, not my own... >O WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER TO TRY AND COMMUNICATE WITH HIM?!...=>_>= prolly think's I'm being uppity or something. Silly Asian respect system value thing..... hee =^^;;; dun worry everyone, I'll be fine, again eventually. I dun think depression will settle easily on me >O I'LL GO DOWN FIGHTING!! rawr... update [9:16 pm] XD;; spactacular lil thing isn't it...=3 *doodle more*.... >O!!! *point at blatant grammer mistake*...well there wasn't a lot of room anyway...XD;;; comments

[my life =_=;;] [Sunday, August 4, 2002] [5:44 pm]

music [none] WOO!! Finally have all of Cowboy Bebop. Unfortunately that moment was pretty much stabbed, kicked, and shoved into a dark, damp, reruse-filled ditch. =__=;; Dad started ranting at me about spending too much money on anime and stuff he says I'll never use again, and I told him that he wasn't being fair. Yes, I'm angry, he seems to think that I'm the one being unfair. Yes I do a lot of things only for myself but I don't ask him for much more than regular meals, a place to sleep, and internet connection (which his company already paid for). No, he's NOT fair. I'm using my own money on these DVDs and the rest I'm going to save for something else. He says I'm just like my mother. Apparently my mother is a horrible, immature, and stubborn/selfish/wrong person =__=;;;. It's fine for my brother to spend all his money on games and stuff but the moment I spend most of my money on a couple of DVDs I'm evil, wrong, and don't think. =____=;; My day's gone down the crapper, he assumes that all I'll ever do is anime manga stuff and then he goes and says that I won't like my DVDs a couple months from now. =9_9= I've liked anime for 4 years at least, of COURSE I'm going to hate Cowboy Bebop a month from now =>_>=.... hngsdfds....my eyes feel all puffy and I have a head ache... =_= never gonna bitch here again, it's just so that in case I will one day explode at least it will be stalled. This is what I never talk about cause usually I can just forget it. But he wants me to remember this time =_= cause he's never taking me out to buy anime ever again for the rest of my life. So here I shall remember it. looks like I'm not getting any more internet time today. yar... comments

[first entry] [Saturday, August 3, 2002] [2:22 pm]

music [Akino Arai- The Wish] =3 this moosic is so up-and-downly XD ooo lookit, it's my first entry in my new journal-like page that I've created. X3 bwaha, I had so much fun inking with painter at like...3:00 in the morning. X3 I FIGURED OUT HOW TO SEPARATE THE BLACK LINES FROM THE BLUUU. XD;; silly me, was suppose to click on that lil arrow pointing sideways and pick "separate channels" or something. I just felt like making a page last night because I was feeling kinda not so great about myself XD;; yes..so I made a web page... now I can update without having to be online, har har, meaning I can update anytime! FEEEAR IT! =3 and it's also a sorta art bloggie thing, maybe now I'll be encouraged to draw more. only new pic toodaaay is that one yuu see at the top of this paaaage. *goes find the rest of those links so they can be fixed* update [11:52 pm] XD;; okee, children do not pose like this... =9_9;; jus me and my wierdness. Hoohaa, I'm showing a shota streak in me, not so suprising at all. Sou having a blog does help me wanna draw....or I'm finally in a proper drawing phase again =P dunno which, it's only been a day anyhow. I'm also in one of those odd moods again =o_o= that I've been having for a bit. XD;; lol at night I start to feel a little... uuh....insignifigantly =o_o= yes, something like that. It's me I think, because I notice I reeeally don't like hanging out with people irl, and so I kind of have like...two real friends and that's about it. And online I have lots of fun, and talk to lotsa people, =;;__;;= but but, recently I've felt like my presence is irritating, gyaha. =o_o= oh well, I always get over these things. *cling kitteh and del* >O yuu two are the people I talk easiest to! luffness. okee, I go find something to do now. comments